What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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