That's intense
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
