I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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