WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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