The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
