She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize