I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
