Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
