What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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