What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
