you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He shit in the fireplace
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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