Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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