Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
