i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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