I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
