Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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