The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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