Sponge bath it is.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
