Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
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