It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Randomize
