Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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