What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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