we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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