I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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