last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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