Whats the glycemic index on semen?
if only i could text you this smell
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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