I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
