My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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