Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
