YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize