I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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