I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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