a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
