1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
babies were throwing up all over the place
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
