So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
