you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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