My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
