I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
