Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
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Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
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Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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