We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
