lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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