For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
