True but thats because hes a fetus.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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