new low.... made out with someone while peeing
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
