I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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