The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
