It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
