I feel like I'm in dance class right now
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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