the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
