OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
