Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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