u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
