his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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