i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
