It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
