he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
