their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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