can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
