im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
