Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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