Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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