sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
There are leaves in my underwear?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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