the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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