Sry I called you an 8
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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