No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
