Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
